It feels so wild to say this, but it's been 2 months since this little mini-us came into our lives. Before you have your baby everyone tells you that it goes by so fast and maybe you nod in agreement, but really, y'all, it goes by so freaking fast! It feels like just yesterday I was pregnant and waddling the streets, eating popsicles and pineapple like they were going out of style. But it's been 61 days since we met Violet and I can't believe how much she has changed already in such a short amount of time.
When we brought her home we were in mega survival mode, just trying to get a few winks when we could. Honestly, the first 4 days of her life I slept about 2 hours IN TOTAL, so you can imagine what a tearful freak show I was. Erik was able to get maybe 5 or 6 hours a night those first few days, so imagine the insanity I felt when halfway through the day he would yawn and say 'man, I'm tired!'
I can laugh about that now. Only because as I type this my baby is sleeping peacefully in the pack n' play just around the corner from me. Our soundtrack: The "womb" sound from my white noise app. Her favorite used to be the Hairdryer sound, which Erik says sounds like a horror movie, but this womb sound is a new favorite! She's been sleeping 35 minutes straight.
So, anyway, The first few weeks were the hardest weeks of my life. I was not at all prepared for how hard and exhausting it is taking care of a newborn. But they were some of the most magical weeks of my life, as well. Getting to know Violet, just staring at her face and soaking up all those expressions was fascinating. I could barely look away. Also, just getting to know all her little noises has been really fun. We've nicknamed her most frequent sounds (in case you're interested) the following: The pterodactyl, the walking dead, the snarl or more specifically Bob Snarley, huffy piggy, throat whistle and poo grunt. Those are just the faves.
Before she was born I spent months researching where violet was going to sleep. Bassinets were a daily obsession. I convinced Erik we should get this one expensive, luxurious bassinet, because it was the best. So we did. We got that bassinet. And in 2 months Violet has spent a total of 6.3 hours in that bed. She hated it so much when she was first born that she let us know just how much by puking all over it. numerous times. We joke now that it is the fanciest laundry basket we've ever owned. It still sits by the bed, all lonely at night, just waiting for a cuddle. I think we've got another month or two before she outgrows it so maybe there's still hope. Thing #1 I've learned since having a baby: Quality and quantity a baby cares not about.
The first few weeks Violet slept wherever we were Able to get her to sleep which was usually on one of our chests. I slept sitting up on the couch night after night, or with her in my arms in bed as I reclined against 14 pillows. I was terrified I would never sleep again. One night Erik told me to go to bed for a nap and I did. I slept alone in bed from 10pm-4am while he hung out with violet in the living room. It was the most satisfying feeling ever, and for a while it became our thing. I zombie-walked to bed at 10, put in earplugs and Erik stayed up with violet till 4am. Sometimes he even let me sleep till 5am, which was incredible. I felt like a million bucks. This lasted between weeks 4 and 6 of her life. At 6 weeks we started a sleep routine with her. It was a silly idea I had. We gave her a bath, sang her a song (which she loved and just stared at erik's face the whole time), and fed her and I think on the first try she slept through the night. Like 11pm-8am with only a couple of dreamy milk snacks in between. A miracle! So that was the end of Erik staying up with violet till 4am. I think he kind of misses it.
So now we're a lot more rested and we have a lot of fun during the day. Violet is becoming more and more smiley. When she wakes up in the morning and sees our faces looking down at her, she lights up like a christmas tree, and oh man, it's the best feeling in the world. The joy in her eyes brings a tear of sheer gratitude to mine. She's also discovered that she has a hand. So she stares at it a lot. sucks on it. bats at dangling toys. When she discovers that she actually has 2 of them, I think she'll be even more excited. She loves reading books, especially this super colorful one called the Chameleon, but erik doesn't like it, because it's a book about conforming. She actually rolled over the other day from tummy to back. 4 times in a row. She hasn't done it since, but I was impressed!
Alas, It's not all sparkles and milk dust... It's exhausting. Even though violet sleeps so well at night, she barely sleeps during the day. She wants to be held all the time, which is hard when you have a full time job. Also it's winter in Montreal and so hard to get a baby outside. I haven't figured out how to dress her in minus 20 degree weather yet. I miss cooking. We eat more chicken nugget salads than I'm proud to admit. I also really really miss cheese, my favourite food group. Violet's tummy really doesn't like cow's milk but I'm getting used to black coffee.
Sigh. Being a mother is crazy y'all. I can't believe how many women have done it before me. I think every single one of them is amazing. I never noticed families and babies before.. now it's all I see. It hasn't been an easy adjustment at all, Erik and I have so much less time, and we both work full time jobs from home, not to mention we are trying to finish up an album, but I can't imagine our life without Violet. She is so gentle and easygoing and I know she gets that from her Dad, whom I adore with all my heart. I love my little family more than anything in the entire world.
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