Laugh at Life

You know how sometimes something just makes you so ridiculously happy that even if you're in a room by yourself or walking down the street and you think of this thing, you burst out laughing?

Well, here's my something:

Out of the 42 million + hits - I'd be embarrassed for you to know how many are mine.  Let's just say, at pretty much every party I go to, this video makes its way to the party masses.

Also, if I'm being honest, this one too:

Don't get me wrong, I like wit and irony and a well-crafted joke, but most of all I just love Laugh-at Life humour.  Because laughter truly is the path to a happy life.

Songwriting + free album

It's a glorious Sunday fall morning here in Montreal and I just took my husband to the train station.  He's off to the Toronto International Film Festival for a few days to do the schmooze thing that is such a huge part of the Entertainment Industry.

We sure live in an "It's who you know" world now, don't we? So many talented people out there and nobody noticing.  Success is about one part talent, and 9 parts lucky.  My husband is one of the most talented songwriters I've ever met. In the almost 6 years that I've known him, he's recorded 5 records and produced my EP.  He's probably written about 100 songs. And I don't mean, throw together some lyrics on top of some chords. These are songs with layers and irony and so much authentic sweetness.    I don't know how he does it. I only ever know how to write songs about myself. I have asked him endlessly for advice and the one thing he always tells me is:  "You have to have something to say".
(sounds easy, right?)

He deserves so much more success than he's gotten so far and If by posting this I can get even one more person to fall in love with his music the way I have, then I've done my job.

It would be no different to me if he were a stranger whose album some friend passed to me.

Here is a link to our latest album. We recorded it live in front of an audience at the hotel2tango in Montreal with Howard Bilerman.  It's not perfect, polished, and our voices are pitchy sometimes, but the songs are there.  It's all in the words.

Please enjoy this album

Deciding to Heal: Mega Priority.

I am so new to this blog thing and I have so much to learn! I've been writing for years in various forms,  but aside from my songs, most of my writing has stayed very private. There's something so different about writing for people that I feel it's going to be quite a process for me to find my voice and style for Grace and Janiper. (So, I guess it's a good thing that no one actually knows this exists yet!)

I have been reading some amazing blogs and feeling so inspired by them.  I wonder if, through the numerous blogs I peruse a day, I will find myself?  I hope so. Does that seem silly? Have you seen how much beauty and truth there is blogging? I want to become a really great blogger, I'm not sure why, but more importantly, I want to become my very best self.  one day, one night and one blog post at a time.

A few weeks ago, my friend Nadyne excitedly told me that I should check out 'A Blog About Love' and I did.  And I instantly became a big ol' fan.  today I have a deep crush on this post.  

When I read that post from Mara on A Blog about Love, I experienced first-hand what a good blog does. Like that scene from When Harry Met Sally her post made me think: "I'll have what she's having."

With one tiny little blog post she made me realize something I've been putting off for 10 years.

That if I want to heal emotionally, I need to first allow myself to heal physically. I say allow because over the last 4 years I have struggled with health issues that I created myself and I am so tired of it.  The problem is that I know what I can do to fix it - once I make this one little change, my body will begin to heal.  But I keep choosing the thing that hurts me, because it brings me comfort, because it's what I'm used to, but mostly, because it's easy.

Right here, Right now, starting this very second, I am vowing to you all (well ok, nobody, yet, but let a girl manifest...) that I am going to do the one thing that I've put off far too long.  I am going to Heal. my. body.

This won't be a health blog, I'm pretty sure.  But there may be recipes.
This will be a blog about embarking on a new journey.
This will be a blog about pursuing what scares you most.
This will be a blog about spirituality and the search for understanding.
This will be a blog about love.

so much love,

Tasha

(the photo above was taking somewhere between Idaho and North Dakota on my husband and I's road trip this August. It's usually so hard to capture a sunset, but this one's quite accurate!)

The End of Summer

"summer is ending! summer is ending!"- I want to screech out to anyone and noone.  I don't think I'm alone in the fact that I feel desperately unprepared to say goodbye to summer and embrace autumn.  Maybe it's because it was such an amazing summer.   I got married to my soul love.  I drove across the country with my him in our new, first car.  I played game after game of tennis. (my backhand is downright fancy, yo!) But it just felt so short, didn't it?

There's a really great blog I follow called Conscious Transitions and this week's post started with this:

“The crickets sang in the grasses. They sang the song of summer’s ending, a sad, monotonous song. ‘Summer is over and gone,’ they sang. ‘Over and gone, over and gone. Summer is dying, dying.’

“The crickets felt it was their duty to warn everybody that summertime cannot last forever. Even on the most beautiful days in the whole year – the days when summer is changing into fall – the crickets spread the rumor of sadness and change.”

- Charlotte’s Web

Isn't that so beautiful? and so sadly true? (you can read the whole blog post here). The End of Summer for me is about preparing to go into the cave of self.  How clean can I make my cave before I spend the winter there?  The next few months are going to be spent trying to detox my body.  Fun, huh?  I'm going off of alcohol, and will attempt to cut out dairy and gluten as much as possible.  Trying to clean up your life can be really fun and exciting once you've begun.. but I'm only at the beginning and honestly, I feel a bit scared.  Lucky for me, I came across a very helpful quote yesterday.  

The air is getting much cooler outside and when my husband and I went on long walk the other day on the mountain, we noticed some of the maple trees were turning orange and red.  It was nice to see such a vibrant colour.  A final display of miraculousness before a long winter rest.

Maybe the best thing, as always, is to breathe into what is.  No need for resistance.  No need for struggle.  Just an awareness of what is true and present and an acceptance of how beautiful it all is.  Even the sadness.  Even the death of summer is something to be celebrated.

Summertime Sadness by Lana Del Rey

reflections on a Sunday morning about food + my aim for this blog

It's Sunday morning and I'm wildly excited to wake up my husband in 27 minutes.  I made us a reservation at one of my favourite local brunch spots, Le Chien Fumant, this morning.  It's a hop, skip and death-defying bike lane away from our little apartment in the Plateau, on a quiet, tree-lined street called Gilford.

I know most of you don't know me very well yet (who am I kidding? I have three readers so far, and two of those are my cats), but I am obbbbsessed with food.  I guess most of us are obsessed with food. When I was in high school, my best friend, whose mother was a hippie and only let her eat tofu and kale, came over the my house and went nuts over the Kraft singles slices in the fridge.  She couldn't believe we had Kraft singles slices.  She devoured at least 4 Kraft singles slices.  Didn't even want crackers.  Just tore off that plastic film like it was a christmas box filled with gold.  

Anyhoos, I love all types of food, and will admit, that If I make grilled cheese, Kraft is the way to go,  (I sense a sponsorship in my future, don't you???), but mostly, I love fresh, seasonal, local, organic treats that are grown with love.   Cooking is a huge passion of mine and I love putting ingredients together with a pair of loving hands, for food prepared with love is a must in cooking.  The amount of deliciousness in a meal is often directly related to how much love the chef handles the food with.  

It's officially September 1st today, which means Fall is right around the corner and I can feel the itch to cook - and eat and eat and eat -  creeping in.

What I love about Le Chien Fumant is that everything is local, fresh (they have a changing brunch menu to ensure that only the most seasonal foods be served), and did I mention delicious?  Every single time I've gone there, when I put the ingredients in my mouth, I put my fists to my head, contort my face and screech "this is the most amazing thing I've ever tasted!", so I'm hoping for one of those type of brunch experiences this morning.  Not too much to ask, right?

I just want to say I'm still getting a feel for this blog thing.  I'm not completely sure who I am as a blogger yet, and I realize things may feel a little disjointed thus far.  I'm aiming for an inspirational lifestyle blog, for sure, but not a fluffy, "isn't my life perfect????!" one.  One that can tackle the personal and often difficult realities of life, but in a positive, creative, and hopefully inspiring way.  This is a challenge for me, because as my father once told me I've never really been a "happy-prone" person.  In some ways, it's true, but in other ways not.  I've tended to be a "reality-prone" person who takes things a bit too seriously sometimes.  So, that being said, sometimes I will post recipes or pictures of the winter coat on my wish list, but sometimes I will talk about the death of my brother, or my struggles with anxiety. I'm going to stay open to what wants to be told. My goal is to face reality and the truth authentically, with love, compassion, honesty and, yes, the most difficult of all for me:  with happiness.  

We are alive, right? What better thing is there?  

30 August 1971

42 years ago today my older brother Michael was born.

He was 8 years older than me and a mischievous little thing. My sister, who is 2 years older than him, and considered the most good-mannered of us three kids, did the typical thing an older sibling does.  She blamed him when she'd done something wrong aaaand she was so good at this, that our parents' believed her.  But, like any younger sibling, he looked up to my sister and when she couldn't zip up her skin-tight jeans on her own, he was always there with the pliers, ready to lend a helping hand.

My brother and sister were so much older than me that I don't have a million memories of our childhood together.  My sister was kind of like a cooler, 2nd mom who taught me how to play 'Go Fish' and introduce me to the Cure and Duran Duran, while my brother was....let's say.....not so much like a 2nd mom.  He was more like a typical older brother, looking to have some control over his life, and so while I don't have many memories of us playing and laughing joyfully together, high-fiving and building igloo's, I do have numerous memories of him sitting on top of me and tickling me (which is just the worst feeling of powerlessness, amiright?), or spinning our poor poor puppy, Lucky, by the tail.  I was only 6, but the look of fear in poor (un)Lucky's eyes will eternally haunt me. Once Michael dared me to steal a $.05 candy from the grocery store one day.  I wasn't much for breaking rules, but I did Looooove candy, so I did it. And then he made me give it to him. :/  That was probably the first lesson of many in "what happens when you work for someone else".

Anyhow - these are the memories I have.  When he was in high school, I was in elementary school and I spent most of my afternoons and weekends at gymnastics.  I'm not sure what he was doing.  He kept to himself a lot.  He enjoyed painting car models.  He had 3 cars during his high school career and I think that he really enjoyed the sense of freedom that having access to a car brings.

My parents and I moved to Texas and my brother was 18, so he chose to stay behind. I'm not sure what he spent his free time doing, but he worked in an electronics shop and became really really great at installing equipment and speaking the tech-speak.

A couple years after that, My parents and I moved to Eugene, Oregon and my brother moved from Vancouver, Washington, down to Eugene, as well.  I was always a little bit scared of him, because I never knew what kind of mood he was going to be in, but at this point in our lives I was 17 and he was 25 and it seemed like there was the balance and kindness and respect in our relationship that I'd always dreamed of.

His sweet girlfriend got pregnant and they got married in a hurry and then my brother's little red-headed daughter was born.  What a gift, a joy, a blessing, a miracle this was for our family.  I had alwaaaaaays wanted a younger sibling, feeling extremely lonely in my childhood, but this was a million times better. I was on the verge of graduating high school when I met my niece and in all my years I had never loved anything more. Loving her was so easy.

Years went by, things were really good between my brother and I.  We started spending more time together (willingly!) and I loved babysitting my little niece.  My brother kept busy with work and seemed to enjoy,  and be very good at, what he did.

One christmas, he bought me a 6-disc cd player for my '95 Ford Explorer (music + teenager = Glory!) and he and my Dad spent about 6 hours trying to install it.  It's a little thing, but I was touched that my brother wanted to make it work for me. and it did. and it brought me so. much. joy.

A few years later I remember my boyfriend at the time and I driving up to Portland to see my brother, his wife, my niece and...my New little niece.  Now there were 2 sweet little freckled redheads.  We had a bbq and had beers and chatted and it felt so good to be friends with my brother, Michael.

Our mother died from a battle with cancer in 2003 and that's when things started to change for my brother. I moved to Canada and he stayed in the Pacific Northwest.  I started getting strange phone calls from him.  I heard weird stories from my sister and Dad about things my brother had told them, and he seemed to be losing balance.

In 2006, he took his own life.  The death of my mother and then my brother are the 2 worst things that have ever happened to me.  Things I would never wish anyone to have to feel.

I believe with all my heart that my brother did the very best he could with the circumstances he was given.  He was a young, fragile child and then a young, fragile man.

I'm celebrating his birthday today with flowers and a nice home-cooked meal, and probably a beer or two, to honor the many ways in which he is still here.  Through the family that loves him and always will.  Happy birthday, Michael!!  Say hi to everyone for me.  xo forever.

Monday afternoon trip to the farmer's market

Do you love to cook? I do. Especially dinner for my husband after a long, hard workday (I swear, we work super-uper hard), or having friends over on Saturday night (ok, actually I prefer to go over to a friend's house for dinner.  what? don't judge!)

Normally summer time is my least favourite time to cook. We don't have air-conditioning and if you mix that with a typical Montreal summer + a hot oven, it means, first of all, that you're cooking in your underwear and bra and second of all, that you're dripping sweat into your bowl of gazpacho.

This summer was no exception. My lack of desire to cook was overwhelming.  The first half of the summer was spent planning our destination wedding and that left me with very little energy for the kitchen.  We got married in Oregon in mid-July and then spent a month on beautiful Vancouver Island with husband's family (where his parents fed us well, thankfully!) and then drove across the entire country back to Montreal (road trip sustenance included pizza, chips and a random combination of 'east meets west' chinese food + submarine sandwich drive-thru in Fargo, North Dakota).

but today in Montreal, it's grey and damp with the faintest note of autumn in the air, So naturally, I started to think about what to make for dinner.

I inherited a whole bunch of tomatoes the other day and I've been craving a blended homemade salsa,  like the kind I used to get for free at El Torito back in the early 2000's, but I didn't have all the ingredients, so I decided to take a trip to the local farmer's market.

It's an incredible, delectable market, with an open-aired concept in the summer and more vendors than the number of texts I can send in a day. (around 30-50.)  A few of the fruit and vegetable stands offer free tastings of peaches, nectarines, lebanese cucumbers, tomatoes with salt, whatever is in season, and so so much of it is local and freakin' fresh and delicious.

Aside from the fresh fruit and vegetable stands, there are vendors selling fresh cut flowers, eggs from local farms, pickled anything and everything,  an organic butcher shop, artisanal popsicles made in Quebec,  handmade soaps and salts, an olive oil and herb megastore, and oyster bar, a cheese shop (a cheeeeese shop!!), the best damn mushroom raviolis (that are amazing in a simple chicken broth with a sprinkle of green onions on top),  and cured sausages.

For my salsa I needed to get some fresh cilantro.  This is one of my favourite stands to get fresh herbs, multi-colored carrots and jalapeños.

Look at all these spicy peppers!

I got 2 jalapeños for $.50.

Last fall I discovered this cute little stand way in the back of the market that had braids of drying garlic.  I adore garlic and it adores me and I hung it on my kitchen wall and it lasted months and months.  It was so satisfying not having to buy icky, overpriced and under-flavoured grocery store garlic that was shipped from China.  Today I bought a $16 wreath that has about 10 heads on it and I'll probably grab another one in Mid-October, because I'm obsessed.

Today I saw that they have pepper versions of this and I got all excited. My local corner grocery store doesn't sell individual peppers, so you have to spend $6.00 on 20 peppers when you only need one.  I think I will pick up one of these to last through the winter and have at my disposal whenever my recipe may so call for it.  Glorious!

After I got all the ingredients for my salsa I wandered around slowly, taking it all in. Fruits and vegetables are so magical to me.  It's like a walk in nature.  All those fresh, local goods give me a happy buzz.

I just had to take a photo of this because It kind of blew my mind / inspired me.  I'd love to get into canning sometime in the near future.  It seems so economical and I'd love to surprise friends and family with little jars of homemade goodness, but until then I just admire the people who do.  People were going nuts at this stand over the tomatoes.

I mean look at them!  You could get like 400 tomatoes for $16.  Incredible.

Well there you have it! My trip to the Jean-Talon Market today.  I hope this inspires you to buy local too, and stay tuned for my Salsa recipe this upcoming week.

all love,
Tasha

 p.s. want to come over for dinner on Saturday? I'm making homemade chicken enchiladas! or if you want to have us over, my husband is super good at dishes! wink wink.