Here I am. I'm so excited that I have made it this far! I'm 37 weeks (whaaat??!?) and a few days pregnant, my baby is as big as a watermelon (mmmm), and is weighing in at about 6+ lbs. In approximately 3 weeks I'll be a mother. bonkers.
Honestly, I have prayed to the universe, the moons, the Gods and Goddesses every single day of this pregnancy that our baby stays in until it is full grown and here we are! So close to reaching this goal and feeling like it is a huge accomplishment.
The third trimester has been pretty amazing with a sprinkle of 'wtf is happening?!' thrown in. It's been equally, but for different reasons, as scary as the other two trimesters but it's been by far my favourite trimester. I think because I know how close we are to meeting our little cricket. I remember being 8 weeks pregnant at my yoga class and the teacher would ask each of us how far we were along and I was sooo envious of the women with their big bellies, calmly saying "36 weeks", and now It's me! Strangers have started to ask me when this baby is coming, so I'm guessing I look pretty close to cooked.
I've had an incredibly gentle pregnancy even though it has surprised me in a few ways. I thought for sure that I would be one of those pregnant people who was hitting the gym everyday, taking spinning classes and doing weight training, but my body very clearly told me it did not want that during this pregnancy. My body asked me for walks and prenatal yoga and occasionally going and floating in a pool. That's it. I also didn't think I would have very many pregnancy symptoms, but I was wrong. This 3rd trimester has definitely been the toughest on my body. It's tiring growing a being and I need daily naps to function. Breathing is often difficult when there is a mini-human pressing on your lungs/stomach/diaphram. I have never been so uncomfortable in my own body, can't reach my toes, and drop at least 50 objects a day because the hormone relaxin that is produced when you're pregnant loosens all your joints and has rendered me with the inability to firmly hold whatever is in my hand (which, in turn, means I have to bend over to pick something up at least 50 times a day and this part, really really sucks). I also feel like an 8,000 pound log when I try to roll over in bed. I woke up last night screaming "OW OW OW!" because I was woken up by the most intense leg cramp of my life, and scaring poor Erik to bits. None of this stuff matters though when I feel our little cricket's tiny hiccups, or feel a little knee poking out of one side of my belly and a bum poking out the other.
I had a minor freak out around the 33 week mark because the dr. told me cricket was breech. Thoughts of C-sections filled my brain and overwhelmed me. I desperately want to experience birth naturally and (yes, I'm crazy) even drug-free, if possible. I fully realize that 20 minutes after contractions start I'll probably be begging for an epidural, but still, my doula has instructions to not give in to my demands. I've been reading about hypnobirthing and find it super fascinating. It's basically self-hypnosis through breathing and visualization during labor and delivery. Apparently I can enjoy a pain-free birth using this technique. Erik's not convinced... but I'll let you know how it goes.
Anyway, after a week (or a day.. I don't know, I can't see in there!) baby went back head down and has stayed that way ever since, Thank the cephalic Gods!
There was one thing though, this one darn thing, that has caused me some real worry and that was all the braxton hicks contractions I was having throughout the 3rd trimester.
In a 'normal' pregnancy, most first time mothers never even feel braxton hicks contractions and if you do, they say anything more than 5 an hour or 10 a day before the 37th week warrants a trip to the labor and delivery ward. Well, for me, starting around week 25, I was getting up to 30 and 40 contractions a day. I was obsessively writing them down, sweating and worrying through every single one of them, and counting down the days till my next appointment to show my lists to my Dr. She was concerned enough around 26 weeks to check my cervix, which, thankfully was long and closed. This did calm me somewhat, but I spent a lot of energy oscillating between trying to just let go of feeling so out of control and being obsessed with trying to figure out why my body was behaving this way.
I was so worried, I thought for sure my baby was going to be born pre-term, but as I moved closer into the safe zone (34 weeks felt like a major accomplishment) the braxton hicks began bothering me less and less and when I stopped timing them so militantly, they started to diminish a bit. But on the night of the supermoon (August 9) around 9pm and out of nowhere, I started getting contractions every 5 minutes to the second that lasted for 4 hours. They weren't painful per se, just so tight, uncomfortable and frequent. I pounded cup after cup of water, took a long bath and blow dried my hair, because I hadn't washed it in several days and if this baby was coming tonight I wanted to feel clean for at least a little while. I also packed my hospital bag, which had been on my to do list for weeks. While I packed my bag It hit me. This baby is going to come out at some point and SOON. I didn't feel ready. When you first find out you are pregnant, it feels like 10 months is an eternity, but now I realize our minds and bodies really need that entire amount of time to prepare. Around 1 am, the contractions had slowed to about every 7 - 10 minutes and I felt proud of myself when instead of panicking I decided to go to bed instead.
The next morning we went and got our car seat installed.
We had an appointment yesterday and my Dr. seemed a little surprised that I am 1.5cm dilated and 80% effaced. She said she thinks she'll probably see me at our appointment next tuesday, or I could essentially go into labor tomorrow. I found this to be incredibly exciting and scary. I think Erik had a moment of realization yesterday too. We did a half day of recording yesterday and I was cramping and contracting and the baby was dancing all day to the music. We got home around 7, made fish tacos and I went to bed. I am now starting to wonder daily... Is today the day I can finish everything on my to do list....just in case.......
but then I add things to my list.
All in all, I'm ready but not ready. scared but not scared. I want the cricket to come whenever the cricket wants to come.
I've so loved the experience of being pregnant and I'm hesitant to let it go. I think I'm going to miss it. Luckily, I don't have a choice in the matter, life continues on and I am extremely excited to experience labor, the birthing of our baby and to become a family of 3 to a child that we really really want and will get to love every day and watch grow. It makes every single moment of uncertainty and worry in this process completely worth it. Thanks for reading if you made it this far and letting me share my journey with you.
The third trimester has been pretty amazing with a sprinkle of 'wtf is happening?!' thrown in. It's been equally, but for different reasons, as scary as the other two trimesters but it's been by far my favourite trimester. I think because I know how close we are to meeting our little cricket. I remember being 8 weeks pregnant at my yoga class and the teacher would ask each of us how far we were along and I was sooo envious of the women with their big bellies, calmly saying "36 weeks", and now It's me! Strangers have started to ask me when this baby is coming, so I'm guessing I look pretty close to cooked.
I've had an incredibly gentle pregnancy even though it has surprised me in a few ways. I thought for sure that I would be one of those pregnant people who was hitting the gym everyday, taking spinning classes and doing weight training, but my body very clearly told me it did not want that during this pregnancy. My body asked me for walks and prenatal yoga and occasionally going and floating in a pool. That's it. I also didn't think I would have very many pregnancy symptoms, but I was wrong. This 3rd trimester has definitely been the toughest on my body. It's tiring growing a being and I need daily naps to function. Breathing is often difficult when there is a mini-human pressing on your lungs/stomach/diaphram. I have never been so uncomfortable in my own body, can't reach my toes, and drop at least 50 objects a day because the hormone relaxin that is produced when you're pregnant loosens all your joints and has rendered me with the inability to firmly hold whatever is in my hand (which, in turn, means I have to bend over to pick something up at least 50 times a day and this part, really really sucks). I also feel like an 8,000 pound log when I try to roll over in bed. I woke up last night screaming "OW OW OW!" because I was woken up by the most intense leg cramp of my life, and scaring poor Erik to bits. None of this stuff matters though when I feel our little cricket's tiny hiccups, or feel a little knee poking out of one side of my belly and a bum poking out the other.
I had a minor freak out around the 33 week mark because the dr. told me cricket was breech. Thoughts of C-sections filled my brain and overwhelmed me. I desperately want to experience birth naturally and (yes, I'm crazy) even drug-free, if possible. I fully realize that 20 minutes after contractions start I'll probably be begging for an epidural, but still, my doula has instructions to not give in to my demands. I've been reading about hypnobirthing and find it super fascinating. It's basically self-hypnosis through breathing and visualization during labor and delivery. Apparently I can enjoy a pain-free birth using this technique. Erik's not convinced... but I'll let you know how it goes.
Anyway, after a week (or a day.. I don't know, I can't see in there!) baby went back head down and has stayed that way ever since, Thank the cephalic Gods!
There was one thing though, this one darn thing, that has caused me some real worry and that was all the braxton hicks contractions I was having throughout the 3rd trimester.
In a 'normal' pregnancy, most first time mothers never even feel braxton hicks contractions and if you do, they say anything more than 5 an hour or 10 a day before the 37th week warrants a trip to the labor and delivery ward. Well, for me, starting around week 25, I was getting up to 30 and 40 contractions a day. I was obsessively writing them down, sweating and worrying through every single one of them, and counting down the days till my next appointment to show my lists to my Dr. She was concerned enough around 26 weeks to check my cervix, which, thankfully was long and closed. This did calm me somewhat, but I spent a lot of energy oscillating between trying to just let go of feeling so out of control and being obsessed with trying to figure out why my body was behaving this way.
I was so worried, I thought for sure my baby was going to be born pre-term, but as I moved closer into the safe zone (34 weeks felt like a major accomplishment) the braxton hicks began bothering me less and less and when I stopped timing them so militantly, they started to diminish a bit. But on the night of the supermoon (August 9) around 9pm and out of nowhere, I started getting contractions every 5 minutes to the second that lasted for 4 hours. They weren't painful per se, just so tight, uncomfortable and frequent. I pounded cup after cup of water, took a long bath and blow dried my hair, because I hadn't washed it in several days and if this baby was coming tonight I wanted to feel clean for at least a little while. I also packed my hospital bag, which had been on my to do list for weeks. While I packed my bag It hit me. This baby is going to come out at some point and SOON. I didn't feel ready. When you first find out you are pregnant, it feels like 10 months is an eternity, but now I realize our minds and bodies really need that entire amount of time to prepare. Around 1 am, the contractions had slowed to about every 7 - 10 minutes and I felt proud of myself when instead of panicking I decided to go to bed instead.
The next morning we went and got our car seat installed.
We had an appointment yesterday and my Dr. seemed a little surprised that I am 1.5cm dilated and 80% effaced. She said she thinks she'll probably see me at our appointment next tuesday, or I could essentially go into labor tomorrow. I found this to be incredibly exciting and scary. I think Erik had a moment of realization yesterday too. We did a half day of recording yesterday and I was cramping and contracting and the baby was dancing all day to the music. We got home around 7, made fish tacos and I went to bed. I am now starting to wonder daily... Is today the day I can finish everything on my to do list....just in case.......
but then I add things to my list.
All in all, I'm ready but not ready. scared but not scared. I want the cricket to come whenever the cricket wants to come.
I've so loved the experience of being pregnant and I'm hesitant to let it go. I think I'm going to miss it. Luckily, I don't have a choice in the matter, life continues on and I am extremely excited to experience labor, the birthing of our baby and to become a family of 3 to a child that we really really want and will get to love every day and watch grow. It makes every single moment of uncertainty and worry in this process completely worth it. Thanks for reading if you made it this far and letting me share my journey with you.
No comments:
Post a Comment